Baldness and Intellectuality

While having coffee with friends a while back, I timidly admitted the obvious; that my hairline is beginning to recede. My “friend” responded by bellowing out a hearty laugh and then letting loose a one-liner, “Mike, your hair is not receding, it's running away from your face!”

Thanks! You’re a pal. Where are the she-bears when you need them (2 Kings 2:24)?

I find encouragement from Eugene Field’s silly little book called, The Love Affairs of a Bibliomaniac. In that humorous volume, he devotes a chapter to baldness. He keenly explores the relationship between intellectuality and the hair-free head. He writes;

…a vigilant and active soul invariably compels baldness, so close are the relations between the soul and the brain…

…baldness [is] prima-facie evidence of intellectuality and spirituality…

To support his thesis, he mentions notable smart baldies like Socrates, Confucius, Napoleon Bonaparte, Cicero and (my personal favorite) John Quincy Adams. He goes on to say;

I have always had especial reverence for this mark of intellectuality… bald heads are favored with the approval and the protection of Divinity.

Then, Eugene sort of missteps and lets known that his glabrous condition might have resulted from eating welsh-rarebits, or radiation from a gas-jet light above his reading table (even if the latter were the case, his baldness would still indirectly be a result of intellectual curiosity).

At any rate, I want to believe it.

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2 Responses to “Baldness and Intellectuality”


  1. 1 steve March 8, 2006 at 9:46 am

    I’m sure this is true. 🙂 It’s the only explanation for my own folicle challenge.

    What is a Welsh rarebit?

  2. 2 The Grinder March 8, 2006 at 10:25 am

    it’s just a rabbit. I could have wrote that but I thought the authors word was cooler.


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